The BanAlbany Projects: An Albany Afternoon in the Life of Anna Swann

I was asked to envision myself as a character from one of my favorite movies—and then consider that character’s character and knowing them/me, talk about where I might go in the city of Albany to have fun or relax.

Anna Swann is one of my favorite movie characters, played by Gretchen Mol, Anna is the leading lady in the movie co-staring Jude Law, Music From Another Room. A stubborn, sometimes thick-headed and always closet romantic; she and I are eerily similar. Embodying her for the day would lead me to only one place…

I would spend my day in Albany’s Washington Park.

The setting reminds me of my home town and the times I spent with my older sister Nina, reading in the local park. Nina is blind, but even despite her ability to visually take in the beauty in nature and these types of settings she has taught me so much about one’s ability to see with closed eyes. The smells and sounds of this park are enough to bring me back to those summer days with my family. It is spring time, barely, but the sun makes its best effort to spread its rays across my pale skin and warm me. The flowers are just beginning to bud, a few over zealous ones have even opened into full bloom; I’m reminded of Nina’s ability to hear bees’ flying from flower to flower, and her fear of the tiny stinging bug that is instantly evoked with even the slightest notion of a buzz.

I find myself a place near the water, and spread out a small blanket I’ve packed with me. It’s a gorgeous spot and though I will sit here and read as though it is a chore, secretly, I will love every minute of my time here. My friends and family say that’s my biggest flaw; my inability to sit back and let fate happen. I like everything to seemingly have a purpose and rationality to it; secretly I love moments like this though.

I find myself watching the mother’s pushing their strollers along the paths nearby me. I am forced to remember the most embarrassing story of my life, the day I was born. Of course I don’t actually remember that day, but the story’s been retold so many times that it makes no difference. The story of how Danny, at the age of five, helped deliver me, and ultimately saved my life has been a family favorite for, well, twenty-five years.

Last summer, Jesus taught Nina how to ride a bike. Can you imagine; a blind girl riding a bike? She would love to ride along these paths; she’s never needed to see in order to enjoy what the world has to offer. Thinking about that now, I’ve realized just how big of a character she’s been in my life; she really is the supporting actress in my life.

This park is pleasantly perfect. It isn’t too crowded as I had thought it might be, and I find it amazing that while only a few feet behind me is busy Madison Ave., here where I sit, I feel a thousand miles removed from the city.

The Banalbany Projects: Is It A Bird? Superman? Nope, It’s A Playground Plane!

The Banalbany Projects: The Search For Nuts

Go to a public place in Albany where you can find trash or animals for at least 30 minutes. Adopt the perspective of an animal/piece of garbage and describe the location from its point of view. (It's kind of like the Sit Down Field Trip, but new you're writing as crumpled napkin, squirrel, etc.) Invent little back stories for your object animal if you would like.

Nuts.

I need nuts. Nuts. Nuts. Nuts. My friends think I’m crazy gathering nuts so early.

They say, “Oh, its almost going to be the summer, and we’re eating our winter selection. Why get nuts now.”
I say, “So I’ll have more nuts. And what if something happens to your nuts? Ever think of that? Huh? Huh? Huh?”

They tell me to calm down, but I already am scurrying away to gather more nuts. I dash across the parking lot, under cars, climbing over cars.

Wait did I say cars? Nuts! I’ll stay perfectly still right here. If I don’t move the car won’t hit me.

Okay, I’m alive. I run across the sidewalk, my hands and feet barely touching the ground. In a few short leaps I have hit the nice green grass. I think this place needs more of this stuff; it’s a lot nice to move on this than the streets and the sidewalks of this place.

Now to find a tree—wait did I hear something—let me look around to see. There’s all these tall people walking around, throwing things around and just laying around.

I have not time I need to find nuts! I climb the tree, climb it as high as I can. The best nuts are on top. At least I think so. I have no time to think! I need nuts! I look around for nuts. There are no nuts in this tree! I climbed all the way up here, and now there are no nuts. Nuts! No Nuts! Maybe the other ones were right about all this; I should calm down and come down from this tree.

No!

There are other trees on the green grass, and surely there must be nuts! If not nuts, at least there should be something these people throw around I can eat. Look, there’s a piece of bread.

One man’s garbage is one small animal’s snack. Well—that took at most three seconds to shove in my mouth. I need more food to eat with my lifestyle, with all the running and climbing I do everyday. Not just some food, I need nuts!

I also have reputation to uphold. I cannot go back to the guys with my tail between my legs. Maybe one of these houses have food. Oh, one of these tall people is walking towards me. I don’t speak their language, but I’ll try.

“I’m just gonna start looking through your garbage! I just need some food. I—”

Oh, they don’t seem to care. Alright, more food for me, I guess! I don’t think they wanted it anyway. Let me just climb up here. This can is kind of slippery. There we go, I’m in there! All this work has made me hungry. Wow, this is treasure trove! Although, I just realized I’m not sure how to get out of here—nuts! Eh, the food will keep me company… and look! Nuts!

The Banalbany Projects: Sweet Tooth Scenario

Thank you all for being here today. As most of you know, I called this meeting to present and deliver an idea for an innovative product. OK. So here’s the pitch. It’s for a new brand of gum. The following is the scenario:


[Birds are chirping on a beautiful sunny day, trees are shading a sidewalk on North Main Street in Albany, New York. The trees are creating a silhouette of leaves against the gray cement walkway. Houses line both sides of the street, a man is gardening and a woman is walking her poodle. A very commonplace city, if you will.]

[All of a sudden a red sporty Corvette-like car whizzes by these people, passed the parked cars. As the sound of the moving car comes to a stop at a red light on Washington Avenue and North Main Street, a casual runner also comes to a halt right beside the flashy vehicle.]

[Suddenly, the operator of the car, revving the engine, and the runner make heated eye contact, signaling the upcoming “competition” between the two.]

[The sweaty runner pops a piece of Jolt gum into his mouth, showing the package. As the light turns green, he’s off like a shot, full speed. He ends up leaving the car in the dust.]



Now, it’s the same commercial but the scene switches over to a college lecture hall.


[100 students. Seats are leveled in increasing height, similar to a flight of stairs. One student is dozing off.]

[The professor, a white haired elderly man with a beard and a mustache, somewhat resembles the psychoanalyst Freud. He is lecturing about cognitive processes of the mind. The blackboard has chalk drawings of the brain.]

[The sound begins to fade out as the sleepy student is focused on and begins to fall asleep. He or she realizes his or her exhaustion and begins chewing a piece of Jolt gum, just as the runner had done before. The student is suddenly stirred awake.]

“Need a perk up? Morning coffee not getting the job done?
Jolt gum. From the makers of Jolt soda. Each piece of gum is equal to one cup of caffeinated coffee. It’s like having your own personal drill sergeant in a minty, rectangular rejuvenator.” [Announcer]
At this point the scene reverts back to the lecture hall.

[An actual drill sergeant appears on the student’s shoulder. He is of black decent with the common uniform of an army drill sergeant.]

He screams, “Wake up! You have a test next week on the left cortex of the brain, Maggot!”

[Yelling profusely at the student right in her ear.]

Revert back to the runner.

[Drill sergeant appears again]

“Move, move, move! What do you think this is a walk in the park?!”

At the end of the commercial, a metal-like noise such as a hammer hitting an anvil sounds.
“Wake up, Maggot!” [Drill sergeant]
“Do you Jolt?” [Announcer]


Thank you again for your time. Any suggestions or comments?

The Banalbany Projects: To Be or not To Be - Madison Ave.

Assignmentt: If you could be any street in Albany, which street would you be and why?

Before Madison Ave was Madison Ave, it was known as Park View Terrace in the 1890s. This is the place to be. If you follow Madison Ave’s yellow brick road (or just road in this case), you will end up at the Empire State Plaza, The Egg, and the New York State Museum; all historic sites of Albany and New York State. This is one of the many reasons why I would want to be Madison Ave.

Of course I would want The Egg (http://www.theegg.org/) to be on my Avenue. It is one of the coolest structures out there. It was designed by Wallace Harrison and took twelve years to complete the construction, starting in 1966 and ending in 1978. I went to a college fair held in the basement of The Egg once; it was remarkable actually being “underneath” the egg, I loved every minute of it. Near The Egg is the New York State Museum (http://www.nysm.nysed.gov/), which is the home to many educational exhibitions including; Adirondack Wilderness, Earth History, Bird of New York, Native American Crafts, Minerals of New York, and many other fascinating things. This museum is so rich, and full of history it would be a great thing to be a part of this. Visitors would drive down my Avenue on their way to learn and have fun in this great museum.

The home to both The Egg and the New York State Museum is the Empire State Plaza. When you stand in the middle of the plaza you can see all the great historical buildings of Albany. Not only do you have The Egg, and the Museum next to you, but also the New York State Capitol Building is straight ahead. I think one of the best parts of the plaza is the ice rink located in the center. It is a great place to go on a winter’s day with the family, just not on a windy day; I learned that the hard way!

Another great aspect of Madison Ave is Washington Park (http://www.washingtonparkconservancy.com/washington_main.htm). This is probably one of the main reasons why I would want to be this avenue. It is a beautiful park, especially in the springtime when all the flowers are starting to bloom. Washington Park is home to the Tulip Festival, summer theater Park Playhouse, and my favorite Holiday Lights in the Park.

Other than historic sites and known parks, Madison Ave is also the home of many popular small businesses. One of my favorite places is Hill Street Café and Ralph’s. Hill Street Café looks like your typical tavern, but there is something different about it. It’s not a dingy little bar, it’s a nice place to have an ice-cold beer, some good food, and just hang out and relax. I would be proud to have this tavern on my avenue. Ralph’s, located on the intersection of Madison and New Scotland, and is by far has the best chicken wings in Albany; it is the place to go!

The Banalbany Projects: Banalbain Food Lovers

Albany: home to artists, college kids, families and everyone else. What do they all have in common? They are Banalbains—hungry for food. Lark Street, located off of Washington Avenue and Madison Avenue contains a variety of food selections. The top three seems to be Mexican, Italian and Australian. But which food best represents the hearts of the Banalbains? Lets find out.

Bombers: Dirty white and black tiled floor. Red walls. Mirrors covered in music and political stickers, written over with random scribbling. A hole in the wall that serves food such as burritos the size of a young child’s thigh and barbeque tofu with rice, cheese and fries. Open until twelve, one or two during the week. The downstairs serves food only—the bar is upstairs. People from the ages of 16-30 seem to populate this place.

Jackbit & Joltz: A chain restaurant, new to Lark. Orange and blue dotted black lizards claim these clean walls. Seven or so tables stand proudly in this wide-open-spaced, Australian atmosphere. The food includes sandwich slang terms such as: Barbie Pork Sanger and a Hot Veggie Jaffle for Vegetarians—like yours truly. A new favorite for the cops and people over thirty.

Sohos: A small room with a green and white tiled floor with a few tables. The selection includes of thin crusted pizza such as cheese, barbeque, parmesan… etc. A typical pizza place that happens to be located on Lark. Its cousins probably are I Love NY Pizza and Madison Pizza off of Madison Avenue. Conveniently located near the bar Hollywood, people from the ages of 17-25 haunt this place.

A woman who has become my family once said, “Albany is for people in their twenties.” Honestly, I couldn’t agree more. Most likely because I am in my twenties. Whenever I’ve wandered anywhere between Fuller Avenue and South Pearl Street, I’ve found that more younger people dominate Albany. If Albany wasn’t home and neighbor to so many colleges: The College of Saint Rose, SUNY Albany, Albany Law, Sage, Union College, R.P.I., Siena College, etc… perhaps the general age population would be different.

But which of these three restaurants best represents the Banalbains?
Drum roll please.
And the award goes to… Bombers!
Oh the applause and the cheering!

Bombers is a very laid back place. It best represents Banalbains because they are of a social breed. Creatures who are loud, messy, fun, welcoming, dirty and fast. People from the ages of 17-30 use this place for social gatherings: lunch dates, birthdays, food after music shows—usually at Valentine’s, a bar located off of New Scotland Avenue. It’s one of the few places open late—besides diners and pizza shops—where a body can go to get food, hang out and be comfortable.

Congratulations Bombers, you’re a lovely representative for the people of Albany.

Strangers When We Meet: A Last-Minute Interview with Lacey V.

Disney character coloring books pages on one wall. A Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows books advertisement stand on the other side. On my right, my friend Cecelia and her friend and co-worker Lacy sit on a couch watching TV. I’m sitting in a recliner next to them. This is Thursday night at Cecelia’s apartment living room on Western Avenue. Originally, I was going to interview Cecelia’s roommate, but Lacy offered to be interviewed at the last minute. In this interview, 18-year-old Lacy V. gives describes the differences her life in the exurbs and life in Albany.--Alex Tunney

Cecelia tells me that you work with her at Friendly’s in Crossgates Mall. What’s it like working there?
Yeah, it’s not anything that I brag about. [Cecelia laughs.]

How long have you worked at Friendly’s?
I think I started around two months ago. [Cecelia]: Yeah, it was some time around last Halloween. [Lacy]: Yeah, I remember because I had fun handing out candy to the kids.

Where are you originally from?
I’m from Rensselaerville. Not Rensselaer. That’s a completely different place.

[Both I and Lacy agree that Cecelia is distracting and Cecelia is sent to her room.]

What are your favorite TV shows?
One Tree Hill or Scrubs. It’s a tie.

Do you have a lot of time to watch TV?
With work I used to not have any time. But now, I have a lot time. Not much to do back home. TV’s a big thing.

What was it like growing up in your hometown?
It was interesting. I showed horses. I went to school and showed horses. That was about it.

Who’d you show horses?
I showed horses with my dad’s girlfriend.

I mean who did you show horses to?
Huh, what do you mean?

Oh, show horses, like show dogs. Sorry—
[Lacy laughs.]

I’m so out of it tonight. Sorry.
It’s no problem.

Why did you come to Albany?
I still live in Rensselaerville. I just come here for work and stay here with Cecelia. Then I hang out here on my days off and it’s basically… hanging out.

Do you currently go to school as well or are you just working?
I don’t go to school right now. I’m working, taking a year off before going to school.

Do you have any idea where you might want to go to college?
If I stay here in Albany, I may go to the College of Saint Rose. I may go to SUNY Cobleskill if I don’t.

You said you’d probably major in Childhood Education in college, what do you want to do as a career?
I’d like to be a Head Start teacher to two- to five-year-olds, or have my own daycare. I do know I want to work with kids. I worked with kids during high school. I know I can handle kids, I can work with them. I know how to go about teaching them.

So what’s your impression of Albany?
I live in the middle of nowhere, so it’s different, definitely different. It’s a pain in the ass with the buses and everything. And people are rude up here. It’s definitely different than living in a small town.

Do you have any idea where you would live if you moved here?
Probably in Denise’s brother’s apartment in the downtown area. His place is right off of Quail Street.

Are you worried about moving into Downtown Albany a.k.a. the Student Ghetto?
Yes and no, kind of. [starts to play with a lighter.]

What things would bother you?
People, I don’t like people. I don’t like strangers. I won’t ride the bus by myself.

Would you say it’s just people in Albany or are you talking in general?
In general, I just don’t like strange people.

Do you consider everybody strange or certain people?
Its people I don’t know. The thing about growing up in a small town means that everybody knows everybody. In Albany, it’s a bunch of new people. I’m not a big fan of change. I like things to stay the same.

But you’re cool with Cecelia?
I don’t like meeting new people but when I do get to know them, then I’m fine. It’s kinda complicated.

Speaking of which: Cecelia, you can come out now!
Yeah, you’re time-out is over! [laughs]